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16 December - I get my kicks!
Two days of alcohol abuse (that's the aforementioned Champagnes abusing me, the consumption was minimal), had left me with a desire for a couple of lagers and a curry, so I popped into the Co-op. They say you often find what you've been looking for when you stop looking, and so it was...
Charles de Cazanove. Champagne NV
Treasure: Soft, fruity, yeasty. Cracking value at £14.99, maybe not quite the full £30.
To experience: Eat panettone nestled in a 15 tog eiderdown.
Great with curry too!
14 December - I get no kicks...
The Slurp, Treasure, Avoid project – to seek out what wines offer true value in the heavily discounted sections of the UK supermarkets – is testing my detection abilities to the max.
I initially bought and tasted as much as I could from the special offers but, unearthing no surprises amongst the wines I suspected would offer poor value, decided to focus only on those I thought had potential. Sadly, I am still not finding enough to be positive about. This isn’t me being a wine snob, as there’s plenty of good stuff selling for less on the main shelves. I now suspect (I have to say ‘suspect’ to cover myself legally – though I fear adding this qualification compromises that somewhat!) that the discounted wines may actually generate as much profit for the supermarkets as the full price wines. This suspicion was driven home to me this weekend.
Now that many supermarkets have their offers set until Christmas I thought I’d taste the heavily discounted Champagnes each supermarket has stacked at the front of their stores. I thought I’d start with Tesco’s ‘better than half price’ André Carpentier Champagne, sold on their website at £23.74 per bottle if you buy a dozen, normally around £25.00 each in store. Currently reduced to £10.00 per bottle it seemed a bargain, but it was insipid, acidic and without any champagne character at all. Not really surprising for Champagne at £10.00, but daylight robbery for anyone being charged £23.74. I can’t imaging much is sold at full price. It wasn’t much better at Sainsburys (their Etienne Dumont Champagne was only OK at the discounted £13, very poor if £26) or Waitrose (Champagne Bredon was similarly just drinkable at the discounted £14, but very poor value if £28).
The only recommendation I could offer had you bought a bottle of Tesco’s André Carpentier Champagne would be to save it should your Christmas tree catch fire and then use it to put out the blaze in the manner of a Formula One driver, thus preserving the contents of your fire extinguisher as a more promising aperitif before Christmas dinner.
So, I have decided that the review will have to broaden its scope to the main shelves and I’ll dig out some festive wines later this week.
16 November - Running the red light at Waitrose
I couldn't miss them, lined up as they were. Big, showy and vibrantly clad, all begged for my attention. They promised they'd be cheap, assuring me that they were usually worth much more. I could have been drawn in, but I wasn't fooled; they were just after my cash, and were so full of alcohol they'd be too much for me to handle. Then I bumped into an old friend; shy and delicate, not encountered in years, the slender neck and shy green pastel shades offset a tiny gold medal. This one had understated class and didn't need to be discounted at all.
Fief Guerin Single Vineyard Muscadet Sur Lie 2009
Slurp: Cracking value at an undiscounted £6.99, worth £9.
To experience: Pack your pockets with white currants and roll in a spring meadow.
I walked on by: Turning Leaf Chardonnay / Fish Hoek Sauvignon / Lindemans Bin 50 Shiraz / Lindemans Bin 65 Chardonnay / Canaletto Pinto Grigio
I'm sure they're nice and clean and won't do you any harm, but looked as if they lacked any interest or passion.
10 November - On the rack at M&S
As I made a beeline for the special offer claret at M&S I thought I might be closer to experiencing S&M when I opened the bottle: good Bordeaux for under seven quid? Not since the eighties!
Château Gillet 2009. £6.25. Bordeaux. France
Slurp: Almost illicitly sensual. Great value. They'll think you've spent a tenner at least.
To experience: Nibble spiced berries from a wooden spoon. You'll need a blindfold.
4 November - Caught in the act at Co-op
I felt it was unfair of her to ask me to leave the store. Admittedly, I have recently developed a fixation, but they were tantalisingly on display and promised to be a pair to get excited about if I could only get my hands on them. I suppose it was a step too far to pull out my camera and start taking photos, but I tried to do it discreetly whilst she wasn’t looking.
What I had failed to notice, however, was the security monitor behind her counter, which is why I failed to get my hands on them at all and had to get someone else to grab them later.
They did, I’m delighted to report, live up to expectation once unleashed. (I could go on, but it only gets worse…)
Special offer pair: 1/3 rd off
1 - Sauvignon Semillon – Smokebush Hill. Margaret River, Australia. 2009
Slurp: Elegant but giving. Fair value at £5.99, a little too much to pay if £8.99
To experience: Blend one part Kylie with a bowl of limes
2 - Shiraz – Smokebush Hill. Margaret River, Australia. 2009
Slurp: Bold and smoky. Good value at £5.99, just about on the money at £8.99
To experience: Smother fire damaged jam on your partner
26 October - To review!
Morning and the light of day only sheds more light on the enormity of the task facing me. Either I have to accept that the slew of bland over-priced special offer wines are the norm and I'm just a wine ponce, or there really is a conspiracy amongst mainstream wine retailers to promote the highest volume, lowest common denominators at an 'alleged' discount.
I started with Waitrose because I felt that this would be happier hunting ground, but I'm quickly disappointed. I feel that only one of the special offers comes anywhere close to being worth the original price claimed, and that most should probably be discounted a further 20% below their ‘special offer’ price before approaching any real value for money. There are plenty of other non-promoted wines elsewhere on their shelves offering better value. It seems to me that it's these 'special offers' that are the ones likely to give the store their best profit margins.
So how do I go about reviewing these special offer wines? It’s not very edifying having to listen to some wine anorak bang on about how he doesn't like something, so in future I'm going to simply list what I'd avoid on the shelves (and not bother wasting your time with), what I'd slurp (of the special offers) and what I'd treasure (something of better value from the main selection, that would probably result in less profit for the retailer).
So from the current Waitrose offers I've so far reviewed:
Whites:
Orca Bay Sauvignon - £5.99, down from £7.99 (Ha, ha!)
Avoid. Is Orca Bay an ingredient?
Sharper and less pleasant than drinking seawater
La Baume Grande Olivette. Chardonnay Viognier £5.99, down from £7.99
Slurp. On the money at £5.99.
Pleasant but not all that ‘Grande’
Yellow Tail - Pinot Grigio. £4.83 down from £6.49
Avoid. Sharp. Take another two quid off and we're nearly there
Kangaroo on the label – bad form to show your source. More pee than not!
Nederburg Chardonnay Viognier £4.39
Slurp. Not bad at the discounted price, almost worth the original £5.49
Côtes du Rhône Parallèle 45. Jaboulet. £7.49 down from £9.99
Slurp. The bottle I finished after the tasting. Good and on the money at £7.49, better value if cheaper, but overpriced at £10. Paying over the odds for a big name producer's volume line.
Reds
La Baume Syrah Cabernet Sauvignon £5.99 down from £8
Avoid. Pleasant and honest country red, but at a possibly less than honest £8 originally. Really? Did they sell much of it at the higher price, I wonder?
Yellow Tail Cabernet Sauvignon
Slurp. On the money at £4.83
Says approachable on the label, which is reassuring, and they're right, it's very drinkable.
25 October - To review or not to review..?
It's midnight and my investigation is complete, but my findings disturb me. I sit, head in hands, admittedly a little worse for wear, only partly due to the rather nice bottle of special offer white Rhone from Jaboulet which has provided succour during what proved to be a gruelling ordeal. Am I to encounter what seems to me a flagrant abuse of shoppers’ trust each time I conduct a wine review? Can I bear the heartache and endure such apparent wrongdoing? Having once fancied tackling corrupt dictatorships, I had considered getting a job with Amnesty International, but doubted I could tolerate being exposed to the misery of those wronged. Here I was again, but this time it seemed the victims were closer to home – my own countrymen.
Was I up to the task of lifting the lid on the whole rotten barrel of apples, or vat of grapes, or any other tortured analogy I could think of? Or was I just being a wine snob (the like of whom I profess to detest), just another babbling fool too caught up in the esoteric to realise that it's only a drink?
To review or not to review...
25 October - Trust me, I'm a wine expert
A shopper, fresh herbs draped neatly across the focaccia in her basket, quizzes a deli assistant about the provenance of some fresh oysters. Another tests the ripeness of an unpasteurised brie before heading off in search of quince jelly while their labradors sit outside, patiently waiting for their Barbour-clad owners to return.
It was like any other day in the Haslemere Waitrose, and I had been in the wine section for only a few moments when I heard a clarion call too distressing to ignore.
'I never know which to choose.' A young lady at the wine special offer shelf, her infirm mother at her side, was in a quandary; she wanted a rosé, but the last had been 'too sugary and alcoholic' for her.
Mentally pulling on my underpants over my trousers, I leapt to her aid.
'Maybe try one of these instead.' I guided her to a Tavel rosé, away from the nuclear-salmon coloured Aussie she'd been eyeing. Crisis averted, I came back to the special offer rack that had drawn her in. As much a crime scene as a vinous minefield, this demanded scrutiny. Ushering others away, I pulled out my camera to preserve the display for reference and then began gathering evidence. The zeal with which I applied myself attracted attention from the wine aisle manager, but as I piled bottles into my basket, he relaxed and let me get on, even offering to help. This was gall - a blatant perpetrator seemingly convinced of his innocence.
Now back at home I scan the labels in readiness for tasting, but first a window needs fixing, diverting me briefly from my investigation. To be continued…
24 October – Slurp, treasure, avoid?
There's now more to report on, so the blog's going live again, as is Twitter, Facebook and any other site where I can publicise the fact that the Wine Navigator App® is about to be released, as is WineTrumps®, a new card game.
If it all seems a cynically tactical and commercial approach to the whole social networking genre I make no apology. If Tesco can tweet, then so can I. (I haven't looked at their feeds. I wonder what they are about: @tesco: making tea now, just been to the loo, waiting for 'Strictly' to come on, then me and Sainsbury's are going down the estate to force the independent wine merchant out of business - and leave him destitute, smashing his unsold bottles of fine Burgundy in the street like a prohibition officer from twenties America! The horror! Which brings me neatly to an idea I've had to help promote the new App: The Wine Adventurer review.
The supermarkets sell over 80% of the wine consumed across the country. Over 75% of that is special offer wine. Over 60% is cynically produced for the special offer only and has no real value above the price it is being sold for. Over 95% of wine writers never stoop to pen a review of these wines, leaving the public at the mercy of the supermarkets. And over 43% of my facts are supposition and would not hold up in court! Nevertheless, I think it's time for Slurp, Treasure, Avoid, a wry look at special offer wines to see if there are any real bargains to be had out there.
So, the Gimblett palate's off to Waitrose tomorrow – a soft entry maybe, but no stone will be left unturned, no treasure unearthed, no con unexposed and no liver unsaturated in my quest to come to the public's aid in their olfactory hour of need.
Never, will so much have been drunk, by so few (one), for so many.
23 October - Back to the surface.
Insomnia, vitamin D deficiency and irritable dad syndrome are just some of the side effects of spending time in a cramped space knowing that it will be months before you're released.
Now maybe you imagine I'm going to make some inappropriate comment likening my last few months writing a book in our box room to the ordeal faced by the Chilean miners trapped a mile underground, but no - that would be crass.
The lucky buggers didn't have to face grinding self doubt and the knowledge that words were being added to their manuscript at a pace that makes tectonic plate movent seem dizzying.
The good news is, the book's nearly there, but other things are happening now which warrant my attention.
20 July - Going underground...
The next trip and book are planned for january 2011. The first episode of Wine Adventurer TV is edited and ready, but instead of going live on the site and YouTube, I've been encouraged to submit it as a pilot programme for TV. A new app. for iphone is ready for launch in the autumn, and the other project, about which I must remain tight lipped (according to my business advisor), will only come to fruition in the new year too.
So in the meantime...
This morning
I woke, showered then wrote. Breakfasted (banana, satsuma and a cup of tea). Wrote. Another cup of tea. Waved to the postman. Lunch (cheese sandwich, pickle).
This afternoon
Wrote. Went to the loo (not for the first time, but wanted to save noting it, to add variety here). Short walk. Wrote. Supper. Bed.
Not the sort of thing I fel a good blog should be made of, so whilst I finish the next book (a wine based historical thriller), things will be a little quieter on this page until later in the year.
